Who We Are
by megzz78
Summary: Dealing with emotions aren't Erin Lindsay's strongest suit but with Jay Halstead it's different. She finds great comfort in knowing that he's always there to pick her up when she needs it. This story will follow the evolution of Jay and Erin's relationship in its early stages and how Erin deals with her growing feelings for Jay. Lots of Linstead love!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago PD or any of its characters.**

 _Title: Climbing into Bed_

Her head is pounding. She literally feels like she has been run over by a cement truck that backed up and repeatedly ran her over.

Erin Lindsay ran her fingers down her temple and let out a long, weighted sigh as she slammed her car into park.

She regretted agreeing to stay at the office late to help Hank tackle the massive amount of paperwork that had resulted from a long, strenuous work week for the Intelligence Unit.

Her bed was practically calling her name as Erin walked up the steps to her apartment and inserted her key in the lock, pushing the door open, before swiftly shutting it with a soft thud. Erin slid her black boots off and let her keys and purse fall to the table beside the door as she slid her black coat off and hung it up.

Light streamed into the foyer from the living room and the faint sound of the television played quietly in the background.

Weird, Erin thought. She always shut her lights and electronics off when she left for work.

Erin rummaged around in her purse and found her gun. She took in a sharp breath before rounding the corner, gun drawn, ready to face the intruder.

"It's about time you got home. I've been waiting…" a voice trailed off as Erin rounded the corner and was met with a familiar pair of striking blue eyes. "JESUS ERIN WHAT THE FUCK?" His eyes rested on the gun that was pointed in his face. When his heart stopped racing, he cast her a soft smile. "Why are you pointing a gun at me?"

"Because you're in my home," Erin responded with the simple roll of her eyes. "So naturally I assumed you were an intruder. How the hell did you get in here anyways?" she asked, walking around him and towards the fridge to grab a bottle of beer. She cracked the top and offered one to Jay, who graciously accepted.

"Well Linds, you shouldn't leave your spare key in places, you don't want anyone to find it," he smirked, holding up the silver key he had swiped from her earlier.

"Well naturally, I wouldn't assume someone would go rummaging through my desk, looking for a key to my house," she responded in a playful tone, resting her body against the countertop as she took a long swig of liquid, gently setting the bottle back down on the countertop and raising an eyebrow at Jay as if to say she was challenging him.

"I wanted to surprise you," Jay offered, a slight reddish tinge creeping across his cheeks. "Too much?"

"Breaking into my house? Naw…" she waved him off with her hand, a playful glint gathering in the depths of her brilliant hazel eyes. "That's next level creepy, Jay." She shot him a wink and finished swigging the contents of her drink down, tossing the empty bottle in the trash, and letting out a long yawn.

"Long day?" Jay asked, walking up behind Erin and snaking his arms around her waist.

"You have no idea," she moaned tiredly as she twisted in his arms and leaned up on her toes to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," Jay smiled as he ran his fingers up the sides of Erin's arms, his touch burning her skin. "Why don't you go hop in the shower and I'll heat you up some food? Maybe we'll be able to catch the last period of the Blackhawks game."

"You suggesting I stink, Halstead?" Erin raised an eyebrow as she spun away from his touch and turned in the direction of the bathroom. Erin let out a squeal as she felt Jay give her butt a little squeeze on the way.

xxxx

Erin Lindsay couldn't help but notice the smile that had made its way across her face as she stood in front of the mirror. It was weird. Being this happy. Usually, Erin would destroy any chance she had at being happy because she didn't like feeling vulnerable and depending on someone else. Dealing with emotions and feelings had never been her strong suit. She was much better at burying them so deep, they had no chance of resurfacing.

Erin shed herself of her work clothes and stepped under the hot spray of the shower. The hot water felt amazing against the tenseness of her muscles as it washed the day's grime away. Erin couldn't help but think of Jay in this moment and just how sweet he was, even if he had broken into her apartment. Erin wasn't used to coming from work at the end of the day to another person. Especially, another person that she genuinely enjoyed being around all of the time. Sure she'd been in relationships before but she wasn't usually interested in commitment. She'd seen way too many failed marriages and relationships and it was a great way to fuck up an awesome friendship too. But, it felt different with Jay. She was pretty sure that the feeling of butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach when he kissed her or gave her that look she knew was reserved only for her wasn't normal. She was scared. She could admit that. She was scared of the way that Jay made her feel and she was scared of needing him back more than she'd ever needed someone before. She was scared that she wouldn't have her best friend any more if something were to happen. Dealing with emotions was easier for Jay, she knew that. She just wished it was that easy for her too.

When she was finished, Erin shut the water off and climbed out of the shower, wrapping herself in a pristine white towel. The smile that still inhabited her face did not go unnoticed as she passed to mirror. So this is what it felt like to be happy. Maybe this is what it felt like to be in love… Was it possible that she was falling head over heels in love with Jay Halstead? That was the thought that scared her the most. That was the one emotion that she was not ready to deal with yet.

Erin pushed the door to her bedroom open and was surprised to see Jay Halstead on the other side.

"Hey Er… I brought you some food…" he trailed off, staring at her for a moment before quickly turning away and muttering a faint "sorry" which Erin found quite amusing. Sure, she'd had this effect on men before but again it was different with Jay. He was quite possibly the most perfect gentleman.

"Jay, it's nothing you haven't seen before," she laughed as she shot him a playful wink and rummaged around in her drawer for a pair of sweatpants and an oversized Blackhawks shirt.

When she was changed, Erin crawled into her bed, and patted the empty spot next to her for Jay. She flipped the Blackhawks game on and reached for her heated up Chinese take-out and bottle of beer that Jay had placed beside her bed.

She smiled softly as she noticed that Jay had also brought himself some food. "Having seconds huh Halstead?" she teased playfully.

"I haven't eaten yet as a matter of fact," he shot back with a playful nudge to the shoulder. "I was waiting for you. Thought maybe we could eat together."

She had to admit it was sweet. And it was all these small damn gestures that were making her feel butterflies in her stomach and get that head over heels feeling she usually hated.

Erin felt herself relax as she and Jay watched the rest of the hockey game, while drinking bottles of their favorite beer and stuffing their faces with Chinese food. It was perfectly comfortable. They both cheered and high-fived one another when the game ended, signalling that their team had in fact won.

Erin let out a low moan as she felt Jay's fingers on her shoulders, gently massaging the tense muscles. The simplicity of his touch sent electricity burning through her skin and seemed to ease the weight of the tenseness in her muscles.

Erin yawned loudly; hardly able to keep her eyes open any longer. "You should get to bed." Jay offered a soft smile as he gently placed a kiss on her forehead, which earned him a nod in response from an almost already asleep Erin. "I'll see you tomorrow Er," he whispered, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Where are you going?" Erin mumbled sleepily, almost instinctively, as she reached her hand over to the empty side of the bed and patted it, motioning for Jay to come back.

"Are you, Erin Lindsay, suggesting that I sleep over?" Jay gave the woman in the bed that he felt so strongly for a playful smirk. "Because that goes against everything you believe in."

"Shut up and get in my bed."

"Yes ma'am," Jay smiled as she shrugged his sweatpants off and slipped under the silk sheets next to his partner. Jay reached over and wrapped an arm around Erin's waist, pulling her body closer to his, feeling the heat of her body radiating off of his. "So, you're really letting me sleep over huh?"

"Well I was thinking," Erin muttered as she twisted in Jay's arms, nothing but the thin sliver of moonlight illuminating the curve of his face. She lazily drew patterns across his bare chest with the tips of her fingers. "Since you kissed me in front of everyone at Molly's the other day, we might as well break the rules."

"So I can look forward to more adult sleepovers?" Jay raised an eyebrow in amusement at the incredibly beautiful woman beside him.

"Oh definitely."

"Is this the start of our someday?" Jay whispered quietly, his striking blue eyes focusing intently on the hazel orbs that stared back at him. "Cause I kinda love you."

Erin thought she literally felt her heart stop. He'd just dropped the L bomb. And honestly, she hadn't seen it coming. But staring back at him in that moment, she knew that this could be the start of something really good. "Maybe," she admitted with a soft smile. "It's not as easy for me, you know that. But, I do care about you so much Jay and one day I'll be ready to tell you just how crazy I am about you. But this is good," she motioned between them. "I don't want to ruin that."

"You can't run from your feelings forever Erin."

"I know," she whispered into the darkness. "I just need some time. For right now Jay, I'm yours, I can promise you that. There's no one else. And when I'm ready for all that relationship stuff, you'll be the first to know."

"How chivalrous," Jay smirked as he wrapped his arms tighter around Erin, who let out another long yawn. "Now get some sleep."

Erin pressed her lips gently against Jay's and turned back on her side, allowing Jay to press his body into hers. In fact, she was pretty sure their bodies couldn't possibly get any closer.

"I could get used to this," she whispered contently as she felt her eyes start to close and sleep would soon overcome her.

She didn't know what the future would hold for her and Jay. But, she did know that she could get used to coming home to him after work and falling asleep next to him. And she could probably get used to waking up next to him to.

* * *

AN: I apologize in advance for any spelling errors as it is quite late. I'm not new to writing fan fiction but this is my first shot at writing for Chicago PD, so I would love to know what you all think! Usually angst is my speciality so this is me completely stepping outside the box. I'm a crazy Linstead shipper and I have to admit I'm kinda disappointed that since the Linstead couch episode, we really haven't seen that much in terms of their relationship. This one kind of picks up right after the episode climbing into bed and I was thinking of adding another chapter or two to show the evolution of their relationship in its early stages and capture some "missing scenes" that we've been deprived of on the show.


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